Sunday, May 6, 2007

Guy and Rodd Must Die

Enough with cute animals and groovy dudes, enough
appreciating pleasant humor and grumbling
good-naturedly about mediocre strips. Let's talk
violent insurrection on the comics page. There's a
disease spreading throughout the 'Mix, and no, it's
not the VD i'm sure everyone's catching - that is, if
they're all copulating as much as Ben seems to think
they are - it's something much more nefarious, more
vile, and certainly more maleficent (tip o' the pin to
Walt. Fun is Magic). This shit needs to stop. It needs
to BE STOPPED.

That's right, kids, we're talking about poorly worded
comic strips.

Nothing goes further to ruining a joke, and my morning
bowl of cereal (or pasta, if Isaac's cooking) than a
poorly worded strip. I mean, if the art looks like a
two-year old's vomit painting (i.e. if I drew it), it
can still be funny if it's a well written gag. mmmmm,
except maybe for Clear Blue Water. That art caused
more than a few vomit-paintings in our household. You
could blind a child with that shit. But barring
that... where was I? ah yes. Seriously, Guy and Rodd,
do you think that just because your shit is on a piece
of paper that doesn't move, it means you can abandon
the concept of comic timing altogether? No! of course
not. You were going to answer yes, I can see it in
your beady little eyes. But you were going to be
wrong. Comic timing is just as important in writing,
maybe moreso! And it's not just the timing. Bad timing
and pacing is only one symptom of VD (verbose
dialogue). Comics that suffer from this pitiable
disease also often display another fatal flaw: Poor
Wording. Sometimes the sentences are just so painfully
awkward. And here's the fucking ironic thing: The
comic strip is called BREVITY!! God damn it, I'm
becoming enraged just thinking about it! Most episodes
of Brevity have painful run on sentences, when in fact
one or two words would have done. And no fucking
subtlety. Let's look at a recent strip:



Above and beyond being generally stupid, and vaguely
offensive, look at that sentence! It's terrible! Does
no one edit this nonsense?? Come on. If you feel like
you need to make this idiot joke, how about something
a little more concise. A little more BRIEF, if you
will. Perhaps these poor, hapless goons don't know
that the word 'brevity' is derived from the word
'brief,' you might think to yourself. Ah, but you'd be
wrong. If for some reason you choose to inflict Guy
and Rodd's website on yourself (GuyandRodd.com), you will see a
foolish sight-gag that clealry demonstrates before the
court that they DO know what the word means. Guilty!!
Guilty!!!! GUILTY!!!

Let me clarify that wordy comics don't have to be bad.
They just have to be written well. A good wordy comic
is a treat, because your pleasure lasts longer. I
mean, who likes it when FBorFW or someone does an
all-visual Sunday strip? Not me. You've got a longer
format, the opportunity to tell a more developed joke.
Seems like a waste, or dare I say a cop-out? Let's
contrast comics like Brevity and Curtis (another
offender of the highest order) with something like Get
Fuzzy, or Sherman's Lagoon, both of which are blessed
with impeccable pacing and wording. Even with a joke
that isn't terribly overt, as in the case of many
installments of Get Fuzzy, it's a pleasure to read
because it's streamlined, it flows like a glorious
river through the hills and dales of our morning 'Mix
experience. I find that I often reread those strips 2
or 3 times right in a row, compelled by some outside
force to follow the sensuous flow of that river
without end. And then Brevity appears on the horizon
like a dam, killing the thousands of happy fish that
swim lazily through the patches of sunlight dappling
the page. A river of blissful ink, teeming with happy
life, destroyed all in the name of the twisted vision
of Guy and Rodd! I mean, for God's sweet sake, when I
get to Brevity, it makes me excited to get through to
Dennis the Menace. Thatthought alone makes me feel unclean.

And so I say to them (to you, Guy and Rodd, if you're
reading this): Stop. Just stop. Seriously. I'm not
fucking around anymore. I've got a shipment of
Kalashnikov's coming in tonight, and we're not going
to take this lying down anymore. Death to Guy and
Rodd, pretenders to the name. Long live true brevity
on the Comics Page!

p.s.: 'Mimefield'? Come ON.

10 comments:

docboc said...

As a person who spent the majority his life dealing with adolescents, I find "Zits" to be a great take on the relationships that adolescents have with each other and with adults. Appropriate language and ideas - not too wordy. I find most of the other comics pretty lame - other than Doonesbury, which I didn't find in the SF Chronicle comics website(?). But Doonesbury might be the reason why Logan might consider attending MIT someday... How can she resist that kind of fun?

Comicsgurl69 said...

Now Daniel. Do we really need such anger here at Righteous Dudes and Cats with 'Tudes? Keep in mind that my high school biology teacher is now an avid reader (Hi Mr. Bockler!). Personally, I find Guy and Rodd's lack of skill with the English language to be sort of charming. If I were a 'mix writer, I imagine that I would have the same problem. Thus their failure in the clever wording department sort of endears me to them, rather than inspiring poisonous, soul destroying wrath. Remember the now classic "Loose Lips Sink Ships" Brevity? That was hilarious! Additionally, the comic you chose to illustrate (ha!) your point is a poor example. While lengthy, I don't actually think it was so poorly worded, AND...it was funny! Seriously, Olive Oil is a wierd stick with an underdeveloped bosom! You're ire is clearly influenced by your crush on Shelley Duvall as Olive Oil in the live action Popeye motion picture. And SPEAKING of motion pictures, I've inferred from Guy and Rodd's website that they had a hand in the Chronicles of Narnia preview, which RULED! For seres, it was better than the movie. Guy and Rodd, if comicsdood's hate has driven you to brink of suicide, step back from the ledge, and know that this gurl thinks your strip (er, panel) ain't half bad.

RSt_bilkeane666 said...

When i get to the bottom of the 'mix page (the literal bottom) i feel a slight pang. yes, a pang. none of the single-panels are consistently funny, with the exception of Mr. Boffo, which is often times funny, but for me, never LOL. A quick message to Guy and Rodd: please take a couple more steps towards the ledge. Now take a look down. You're sometimes funny, but if you don't straighten up your act i will be there to give you the shove you need to sing the final farewell song to old mother nature (?) That's right, either publish less or make a funny panel consistently. I stand behind Dan on this one. You betrayed me Guy and Rodd. Watch your backs!!!
ps: Biology was one of my fave subjects in high school! kudos to you docboc for picking a very noble profession!!!

Micah Allen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Micah Allen said...

i L-d O.L. at the "too many socks to fit in your drawer" boffo on the train. 'mixdood420 as my witness.

but i gotta say, as an honored visitor to your city i feel as though the "red carpet" was not exactly "rolled out to me" by guy and rodd. they give me that basically nonsensical pigeon sunday one, the fucking horse who should quit smoking (could have been literally ANY animal that runs--lion chasing a gazelle--mouse on a wheel-- fuck it, a fucking human being running in a race, it is the same exact joke) and then this olive oyl thing. i read the first line and was like, i hope the joke here isn't that she wasnt worth fighting over because she isnt hot in the traditional sense. 4 lines later, i had my worst suspicions confirmed.

so while i will agree with logan that their phrasing really isn't the problem, it sure does take any lingering wind in the sails of that olive oyl strip right outta there. but for my money it's a simple lack of creativity that is killing guy and rodd, and hopefully it will do so faster than a non-smoking race horse.

furtanic said...

With all the talk of phrasing/timing it would be appropriate to recognize those comics that have shaped up.

Pearls Before Swine used to be another offender (w/ Brevity) of awkward wording but has in the past couple of months really cleaned up its act. It is now consistently better worded than it has been in the past even if the humor content has remain unchanged. Its enjoyment has now become of content/taste instead of awkward form.

In the defense of Brevity: the example you give (as Logan points out) is a poor one because the structure of the punchline is important to the humor content. With each flaw they see in Olive Oyl they see another...and another...and another, compounding their increasing confusion over what indeed they are fighting over. But many other Brevity's have the flaw you mention. (though perhaps Brevity refers to the form - it is a one panel comic and not the punchlines.)

Brevity is extremely streaky. When it first took the place of Beetle Bailey it was consistently very good but then will go in patches where it is awkwardly unfunny for a while only to later return to a streak of good laughs. It was however better as a length-ways rectangular comic than as a square comic.

furtanic said...

I kind of miss Beetle Bailey...

http://www.joshreads.com/images/0412/i041217beetle.gif

And in looking to re-live the high point of Beetle Bailey I found this other comics blog...

http://joshreads.com/

comixdood420 said...

Ah, Beetle Bailey. Those were the days. Beetle Bailey, for me, generally stands alongside comics like Garfield and Blondie as an archetypal Comic Strip, a sort of Paltonic ideal of the form. On the other hand, two of the most bizarre comics I have ever seen appeared in BB just before it left the Chronicle. The first involved a giant photo of a cat looming over the barracks, and the second was about gnomes.
Here's that one.
Big ups to the Comics Curmudgeon.

p.s.: On another note, it's true that the Brevity which I used as an example was not the best illustration of my point. And it's true, as Furtanic points out, that Brevity is inconsistent, and has at times provided a chuckle. There's just something in the tone of it that drives me nuts. In any event,
apologies for a (perhaps) overly venomous post, and here's to a future of love and warmth at RDandCw/T. You can tell your kids to open their eyes again. The scary part is over.

p.p.s.: I must say, I think Jon's shirt is pretty cool. But lord am I getting sick of that gag. Not to mention Grandpa's physical therapy. As Scott pointed out to me this morning, it's moving at first, but quickly departs that realm for the land of Boring and Inconsequential (not to mention the kingdom of Kind of Annoying). On a lighter note (since I promised one), Ted Forth continues his bid to be the great luminary of the 'Mix 2K. And what ever is to become of Brad and Toni, after that smooch?? Not to mention what will become of Jeremy's social life, now that everyone knows he has diarrhea... boy, I feel that kid's pain.

Comicsgurl69 said...

i'm sorry i mispelled olive oyl.

Unknown said...

Hey -

I'm afraid I have some sad news. Rodd Perry, the artist I do the comic "Brevity" with, tragically passed away last month.

Because we were 3 months ahead, the comic will continue running for the next 2 months at which time you will get your wish, and it will cease to run in print.

Anyway, I was googling us and found this entry "guy and rodd must die" and I was hoping you would remove it in case Rodd's family ever came across it.

I don't know if another artist will be picking up the duties. I don't think anyone can pull off his style.

Anyway, thanks for understanding.

Guy Endore-Kaiser