Monday, April 30, 2007

A True Hero

I don't want to devote too much of our time and energy to FBorFW, and I don't want to bring things down this early in the life of our blog, but I've been moved to write about something... This afternoon, thanks to various logistical and experiental factors, I found myself on the FBorFW website, which took me down a myriad of journeys, both new and old. And while learning about Lynn's childhood was fun and all (and the page of errata will be sure to delight everyone), what I need to talk about is an older experience that I relived (and in fact have been reliving every moment since that fateful day): the Death of Farley. Those of you who are new(er)-comers to FBorFW may not remember this, but when April was a child, she fell into the river and the Patterons' old dog, Farley, dove in to save her. He succeeded, of course, but payed the ultimate price in the process. Today while I was reading it I began to tear up when he first leapt into the river, knowing as I did the devestating events that were to come, and by the time he stopped breathing a tear had rolled down my cheek, a tear perhaps very much like the one that rolled down a much younger face, when I read this story for the first time. So here's to Farley, a True Hero. RIP Number 1. I'll see you at the crossroads.

Friday, April 27, 2007

It hurts my feelings

when my paper gets stolen. It also makes it hard to keep up with my blog.



I had to get my "strip fix" at fborfw.com. I hope Lynn Johnston doesn't come after me for this. Now, I believe that April has every right to explore her sexuality, but the question is, does Gerald really respect her? I'm not convinced, esp. since he was slandering her all over town, and since he was obv trying to get her drunk. I forsee a chance for Elizabeth (not that SHE doesn't have enough man troubles of her own) to really step up as a mentor for April. Anyway, this storyline wins out by mile against the who's-gonna -live-in-what-house storyline, I eagerly await tomorrow's installment, provided it's not thieved from my doorstep. Jerks!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Okay, This Time For Real

My friends,
Comixdood420 here, perpetrator of the little joke that has landed us all smack dab in the middle of the tempestuous world of the daily funnies. As with all jokes, there was a little kernel of truth inside the humour, which in this case means that my erstwhile compatriot Comicsgurl69 and I are going to take this trip for real. It had to happen. It was what everyone wanted. The idea's been getting tossed around for a while now. It was time. For this inaugural post we'll begin with a rundown of the comics, one by one, giving y'all a little sense of where we're coming from. I know everyone has their own methods of reading the comics: places, times of day, obsessive compulsive reading orders (me, I do the Sundays front page, back page, inside, then the inserted page last, because it's got the best strips), but we're going to do this shit top down, in order, like proper funnies fascists. Here goes:

DOONESBURY - Garry Trudeau
Logan: Excellent. The only comic in the Chronicle funny pages that deals with politics in an interesting or useful way. Creates characters with which one identifies and cares about. On the other hand, Garry doesn't really need my support.

Dan: Definitely a winner. Maybe not as scathing as it was 20 years ago, but then look at the Rolling Stones. Doonesbury's holding up pretty well by comparison. Why Logan identifies with Zonker I'm not really sure, but she said it, not me.

FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE - Lynn Johnston
Logan: In some ways Micah was right when he said that this is the best comic out there. The Pattersons are like a second family to me, and I'm more emotionally invested in their well-being than I am in the well-being of ANY other cartoon family to be found in the newspaper. On the other hand, is this truly a good comic? Or do I only care because I've grown up with them? p.s.: Rest assured that April's sex life will be a hot topic here at Righteous Comics.

Dan: I love FBorFW, always have. Remember when April was born? Remember when Farley died? Whew. But how come some imaginary fifteen year old Canadian girl is getting more sugar than me??

Logan: I think what you meant to say was "More sugar than I."

RHYMES WITH ORANGE - Hilary B. Price
Logan: I really liked this comic when I was 14. On the other hand, I like it OK now.

Dan: I really hated this comic when I was younger. I don't think it existed when I was 14. That makes me feel old... but not as old as the middle aged women in this comic seem to feel. Now I find it charming, and sometimes hilrious, though the boobs are drawn weird.

LIO - Mark Tatulli
Logan: When Lio first replaced the Boondocks c. four months ago, I tried to give it a chance. I defended it when my fellow comics afficionados told me it sucked. Then I realized: Lio sucks. Honestly, it's the same shit day after day. Get a fresh idea, Tatulli!

Dan: Yeah, what is this, Marmaduke?? We get it, the kid's a goth, the dog is fucking huge... same old shit.

Logan: On the other hand... no, Lio is really the boringest comic on the page.

Dan: I think what you meant to say was "Most boring comic on the page."

SALLY FORTH - Steve Alaniz and Francesco Marciuliano
Logan: I've just learned that this comic is executed by two men. Weird. All I have to say is, if writer Francesco Marciuliano is anything like our hero Ted Forth, I'd like to get to know him. Intimately. On the other hand... no, Ted Forth is really the righteousest dude on the page.

Dan: .............Words fail me. I look up to a select few men in the world as paragons of Virtue and Excellence: AWK, Special Agent Dale Cooper,* Bill S. Preston Esq. and Ted Theodore Logan... but I think perhaps one man stands atop the entire pantheon. I mean sure, Faye fucking rules, and Jackie is emerging as a force for awesomeness, and even Ralph has a distinct place in my heart (N.B.: an amazing game one can play is to try and cast the film version. Hours of fun, I can and will prove it). Ted Forth is not just, as he claims, "one righteous dude." He is THE righteous dude. We'll talk more about this later. I'm feeling whelmed with emotion.

Logan: You're a dork.

Dan: What do you think it means that there are two Teds on my list? What would happen if Ted and Ted hung out? Why does Sally always have that smug expression on her face?

* Logan: There only two men, fictional or otherwise, whose hands I would accept in marriage. Ted Forth comes in a close second to Dale.

THE FUSCO BROTHERS - J.C. Duffy
Logan: I like this strip. On the other hand, it often makes me very uncomfortable.

Dan: I feel exactly like Logan, except for the part about liking it. And is it 'Fuh-sco' or 'Foo-sco' or what the fuck? Next time I'll bust out my SIL IPA fonts and we can really get to down to phonetic brass tacks. Until then, where's Ben? He might be the only true devotee of this weirdo-fest.

That's all until next time. On a parting note, Logan would like to thank everyone for their immensely overwhelming response to the joke-blog, and let each of the hundreds of people who begged that Righteous Comics not meet an ignominious end as a practical joke, dissipating into the ether, but would rather ride the inter-winds to an eminent place amongst the celestial peaks of cyber-Olympus know that their support will not go unnoticed or unrewarded. Dan is feeling nostalgic for comics which are no longer with us, and will simply sign off by saying,
Pining for the Pinhead.
D&L April 26, 2007

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

jokes!

i swear to god i don't like cathy. dan joseph, i will retaliate.

Monday, April 23, 2007

The Mysteries of Womanhood

Although perhaps a discussion of Ted Forth's position as 'one righteous dude' or the various merits of the bad attitudes displayed by cats as varied as Garfield and Bucky Katt would be more appropriate to begin this blog with, instead I would like to focus on a comic much closer to my heart: Cathy. Cathy is, in fact, the only comic I feel a true connection with. It explores the deeper issues connected to womanhood which are pertinent to my everyday experience: shopping, marriage, and all the rest. I mean, who hasn't felt the pressure of buying a new smiwsuit for an aging body, or trying to plan a wedding with a man who just doesn't understand floral arrangements??? :( omg, men are so weird! and CRAZY!!! Anyway, Cathy is an incisive and honest look at the issues facing women in America today, and I really love it. NEXT TIME: why the Wizard of Id is totally hilarious. Kisses!
Comicsgurl69 (aka your pal Logan!)
p.s.: don't let me get behind on this! so if I don't post again soon, deluge me with annoying emails!!!