Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Aren't-Buckle

I can't believe it took me this long to notice, but those reading who are not from Boston, nor periodically in the area, might be interested/outraged/confused to learn that Garfield is no longer running in the Globe.
That's right-- let it sink in. No more Garfield in the Boston Globe. The very reason I started reading comics of any kind in the first place is not available for Bostonians to read, on newsprint, anyway.
Amazingly, we've still got:

-Mallard Fillmore, this week taking a break from mocking the oh-so-current trend of baggy jeans to hilariously lampoon the supermodel industry with the slyly named character "Purge Daley" (get it??? neither did i, so here's the scoop: evidently, some people who are very thin stay thin by making themselves throw up, this is called 'bulemia' or more casually, 'purging.' and one assumes that for a supermodel, bulemia would be a full-time job!! hence the clever name! Bruce "DUI" Tinsley: one, modelling industry/womens' health: zero!)
-Prickly City, that lazy liberal scotty is attempting to woo Leona Helmsley's rich dog-heiress this week... to his don't-tread-on-my-nebulously-centrist-views girl sidekick's exasperation. Whee!
-Heart of the City, taking the pandering pop-culture 'geek' references of Fox Trot and commingling them half assedly with the elements of Calvin and Hobbes that are easiest to ape, like it does.
-Red and Rover, gentle boy-and-his-dog fluff and the second contribution to the MP from the guy who draws Adam@Home.
(Also, dude is still lapping from the years-dry well of the utterly deplorable Adam@Home, spinning his wheels for the past several weeks by doing a seemingly neverending run of strips about Adam watching TV*. It's not even an HDTV!!!)
-The MacPaint-level artistic stylings and Gary Larson content-ripoffery of F Minus.
-Harry Bliss's New Yorker rejects, the inaccurately titled "Bliss" (for those of you who would say, "That is a single panel cartoon and Garfield is a 4-panel strip, it wouldn't fit there anyway": they have started running Arlo and Janis in a 2 on top, 2 on bottom** square format)

All this garbage and plenty more that I can't think of right now, and no Lord of Lasagna to reign over all of it.
Say what you will about Garfield--- Lord knows I have. But it is a classic strip, the most classic our generation has, in fact, and that should guarantee it a permanent stop on any self respecting MP as long as it is available for publication. Hell, it isn't even in the Sunday 'mix any more. And PAWS, Inc has really been trying these past few years... unfortunate forays into espresso bar humor forgiven.
This. The painful mixtual evidence that even Bill Griffith and Berke Breathed are getting old. The looming end of FBFW (enough with the god damn super teddy, get back to Liz and Anthony already gals. If you are blocked here is a hint: have them get married)
Who is left to carry the torch? Darby Conley and Garry Trudeau? Good, because I love those guys. Hilary Price, you are also welcome to keep on doing it to it.

*i am trying to forget the disturbing week where his nose grew like pinocchio's because he lied about paying a bill
**I like to think that Jimmy Johnson would snicker when he read that

2 comments:

comixdood420 said...

I imagine Jimmy Johnson would also have a ribald and perhaps pre-Equal Rights Amendment-esque remark to make regarding Hilary Price "doing it to it." On the more cat-astrophic subject of Garfield's departure, one can only assume that there remain but 6 angels to sound there trumpets before the end, 6 seals to be undone before the 4 horseman (Tinsley at their head) ride through the 'Mixtual streets leaving nothing but devastation in their wake.

thera said...

you guys are lazy posters