In regards to recent events

My Friends!

Let us ignore the fact that I have treated my blogging duties like Jeremy might treat his responsibilty to pick his shoes up off of the hallway floor. It's been a while, it's just that I've been really busy doing important stuff.* But given that half of the production team here at RD&Cw/T is at summer camp this month, I figured it was time for me to step up to the plate. Much like our fishy friends over in Sherman's Lagoon, jumping on the summer softball train just as Hilary and her teammates are deboarding due to Ted's negative mental attitude. Much like Barry Bonds, breaking Hank Aaron's home run record at a baseball game which I had the option of attending for free, but did not because I had something responsible to do. You know what, I don't give a fuck because I don't even need to use a double asterix to tell you that that guy was totes hopped up on 'roids, and who needs to witness baseball history being made when they've got the 'mix to greet them each morning? NOT ME!

N-E-WAYZ, let's talk about what really matters: Ted Forth, snap the fuck out of it! Sally basically just told you that unless you get a 'tude adjustment, you are not gonna get laid. Here's what I think: Stop half-assing it with that 5 o'clock shadow and grow a beard. Sometimes a makeover is just what you need to gain a new outlook on life. And I'm not talking about some trim, shapely goatee, I am talking about an epic beard, akin to that gracing the face of the holy man down the in today's (er, yesterday's) relatively lame Bliss panel. That dude, btw is the only beardo on the page! Beards: underrepresented!

We all know that there is another facial hair issue that needs to be addressed. Yes, I am speaking of Anthony's mustache. I mean, yeah Liz, smooching is great, but don't you think that smooching a dignified mustache would be better than a bare, scratchy upper lip? And I understand that the removal of the mustache is a metaphor for the clean slate of Liz and Anthony's relationship, unsullied by the disastrous marriage with whatserface that kept them apart for so long. But puh-leez. Decide for yourself:

From a few months ago:


The current dillemna:


I realize that my argument for Ted's beard and for Anthony's mustache sort of contradict each other, but that's because whatever reasons I give for these dudes to have facial hair, the only reason they really need is that facial hair is righteous. And righteous dudes, dear readers, are the name of the game.

PEACE!



*Lying around

Seriously Righteous

I would just like to point out that, in a moment of meta-connection that bridges the divide between 'Mics and Reality, two righteous dudes are totally on the same page. The same comics page. Read my last post. Then read today's Sally Forth.




Me and Ted, dudes, me and Ted. And I mean, have you ever seen us in the same room at the same time?

TWSNLUD vs. Serious Business

My friends, it's summer! These are the months of Bruckheimer and Bay, of barbecues and baseball: fun is the order of the day. And where should we find more fun than in the Mighty 'Mics? But what is this I see before me? Things have taken a turn for the serious in our beloved panelled pages. Not to say for the worse, it's not like that, no. But for reasons unknown to any save perhaps the shadow conspiracy which lurks behind the scenes of King Features Syndicate, the mysterious Illuminati responsible for strings pulled and decisions made at United Features, yes for reasons known only to these illustrious and terrifying nether beings, our Summer Strips have been hijacked for darker purposes. Doonesbury (ever a bastion of the serious, but always tempered with the humane and humorous) is telling a disturbing and singularly un-amusing tale of "Command Rape." Lio (though never actually funny to begin with) has embarked on an uncharacteristically narrative tale of Summer Camp travails (hope you're ready for the same, PSin'A). Brad's dad is stuck in a tree (ok that one is just funny). But Garfield! Oh my sweet dear Garfield! Those of you who know me, whether through our traffic on the blogosphere or through more corporeal means, know that Garfield is everything to me. The platonic ideal of the comic strip. And what have we here????? A sordid and sad tale of jealousy and heartbreak. The sardonic feline fortress that is Garfield's implacable psyche has been emotionally breached by.... a woman! I have been all for - and I mean ALL FOR - Liz and Jon's relationship. 25 years coming, I say. But what is this? Is she the Yoko* who will break up the metaphorical rock band of the Arbuckle household? A wedge driven between the homo-inter-species love of Jon, Garfield and Odie? What next? A sapphic tryst with Nermal?? Mmmm, oh yeah. Nermal is a boy. Uh. Oh, ok. What next? A sapphic tryst with Arlene? Where the fuck is Arlene anyway? maybe they could go on some double dates, and everything would be fun and hilarious again.
In any event, I'll take this opportunity in my closing remarks to point all eyes towards the truest stalwart on the 'mics page, They Who Shall Never Let Us Down. I of course am referring the Dagwood family, a font of love and humour undiluted for 75 years (and counting)!. Who can resist the charms of an enormous sandwich, a restorative kiss on the doorstep, the hilarious "Snnxxxxx" of Dagwood's snores... or today's comic gem, the ol' pants switcheroo! I'm sure some of you are grumbling about the chrono-specific reference to "capri pants" in the strip, but come on! Look how funny he looks in pants that are too small! As someone who has been known to perpetrate this self-same brand of humour in real life, I say huzzah to you, Dean Young! Do not submit! Let the upbeat river of Blondie's world flow on, forever running high on its banks through the ever shifting landscape of the 'micsville. So raise your glasses to TWSNLUD, I say! Three cheers for Blondie! Three cheers for Dagwood! Three cheers for Daisy and whatever the hell the son is named! Three cheers for Mr. Dithers, his wife, and for the carpool! Three cheers for the mailman, and for the dog! Three cheers for Elmo, the inexplicable neighbor boy who is always around and seemingly has no parents of his own! Three cheers for TWSNLUD! May your refrigerator always remain stocked! And let us pray on bended knee that those at PAWS Inc. will hear the revelry of the Feast of Blondie and see the error of their ways. Now read on my friends, ever on and on.

p.s.: Here's a special treat from the vaults! The strip in which Dagwood Bumstead and Blondie Boopadoop (I shit you not) get hitched. That's right kids, they were unmarried lovers before this one!






*Let me also make it clear that Yoko Ono was in no way responsible for the breakup of the Beatles, and is in fact a hip, hip lady. The blame belongs squarely on the shoulders of Paul, goon among goons.

Happy Birthday, MG!

We all know what original Cat with 'Tude has the market cornered on those wacky birthday blues, so without futher adieu:

Dont worry Logan...the secret of your age is safe with me.

HOLY SHIT DUDES

So, I have been shamefully unblogriffic (what? sp?) these days, and honestly I haven't even read the 'mix in like 3 days. AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE NOT VIGILANT? Only like, the biggest deal in the history of fictional Canadian romance my friends. We all knew it was coming, but that doesn't make it any less awesome. TOTAL SMOOCHFEST. Consider my heart officially warmed. Not that I really need to reprint this, because I know you have all already ordered your framed editions of today's strip, but I'm going to go ahead and do it anyway.



Totes epic dudes, totes epic.

Off The Beaten Path, Part II

I've mentioned Ruben Bolling's "Tom The Dancing Bug" here once before, but I don't think I talked about how much I love it. Oftentimes when I'm bored at work, like say fifteen minutes ago, I will peruse its back strips and amuse myself to no end. It is a comic that can be found in greatest volume online over at salon.com for whatever reason. It has recurring characters every now and again but mostly every week you get something new, which I find pretty awesome.

Every now and again, though, he'll do these "Super Fun Pak" strips where he lampoons well-worn mixual tropes. Since this one references another comic not found in the Chron (and one that I'm sure would find little love in this community), I thought it was doubly appropriate that I share it here. I can't figure out how to make this thing stop sizing it automatically, so if it's too small to read, the original can be found here.

This one's for you, 'MG

knowing her oft-professed love of sexual innuendo on the 'mix page, I thought our blog's founder might care to see this chestnut from the FBFW vaults, circa 1981:

Kids!