Let us ignore the fact that I have treated my blogging duties like Jeremy might treat his responsibilty to pick his shoes up off of the hallway floor. It's been a while, it's just that I've been really busy doing important stuff.* But given that half of the production team here at RD&Cw/T is at summer camp this month, I figured it was time for me to step up to the plate. Much like our fishy friends over in Sherman's Lagoon, jumping on the summer softball train just as Hilary and her teammates are deboarding due to Ted's negative mental attitude. Much like Barry Bonds, breaking Hank Aaron's home run record at a baseball game which I had the option of attending for free, but did not because I had something responsible to do. You know what, I don't give a fuck because I don't even need to use a double asterix to tell you that that guy was totes hopped up on 'roids, and who needs to witness baseball history being made when they've got the 'mix to greet them each morning? NOT ME!
N-E-WAYZ, let's talk about what really matters: Ted Forth, snap the fuck out of it! Sally basically just told you that unless you get a 'tude adjustment, you are not gonna get laid. Here's what I think: Stop half-assing it with that 5 o'clock shadow and grow a beard. Sometimes a makeover is just what you need to gain a new outlook on life. And I'm not talking about some trim, shapely goatee, I am talking about an epic beard, akin to that gracing the face of the holy man down the in today's (er, yesterday's) relatively lame Bliss panel. That dude, btw is the only beardo on the page! Beards: underrepresented!
We all know that there is another facial hair issue that needs to be addressed. Yes, I am speaking of Anthony's mustache. I mean, yeah Liz, smooching is great, but don't you think that smooching a dignified mustache would be better than a bare, scratchy upper lip? And I understand that the removal of the mustache is a metaphor for the clean slate of Liz and Anthony's relationship, unsullied by the disastrous marriage with whatserface that kept them apart for so long. But puh-leez. Decide for yourself:
From a few months ago:
The current dillemna:
I realize that my argument for Ted's beard and for Anthony's mustache sort of contradict each other, but that's because whatever reasons I give for these dudes to have facial hair, the only reason they really need is that facial hair is righteous. And righteous dudes, dear readers, are the name of the game.
PEACE!
*Lying around
6 comments:
Huzzah! And a Tip-Tip-Turrah to 'MG69 for getting back on the horse. It's as though RD&CW/Ts has been locked up outside of town like Esmerelda and now our little cowgirl of a Fearless Leader has finally gotten a ride out to see her. Which brings me to one great beard on the 'MP: Dusty. Yeah, yeah, Elderberries can maybe suck it (although frankly, I find it endearing these days), but Dusty is undeniably a magnificent beardo. I agree wholeheartedly with 'MG about both Ted and Tony, and would like it to go farther: Arbuckle, you've got a ladyfriend now, you're a grown man, how about it? Jeremy, you're a teen, where's the obligatory attempt at peach fuzz? Anyone in Sherman's Lagoon, you already do hilarious people stuff, why not grow beards?? The list could go on, but let's just say beards = righteous and getting back on the blog = a cause for celebration.
beard-o-iest post ever.
dear dan,
i'm sorry i called you names. except beardo. i'm not sorry when anyone calls you beardo.
as a recent convert to facial hair appreciation, i totes agree with mg.
also, i was reading the fbofw "elly's coffe talk" page and people are way up in arms about grandpa jim:
"Could you possibly be any more condescending or patronizing toward Grandpa Jim than you were in the 8/14 installment? (Actually, it was probably worse when Elly's genius son Michael asked if his grandfather was "crazy" to his face.)Do you hate all men, or just older ones?
Ed, NJ"
wtf?
also somebody told her she wasn't showing enuf respect towards jim, as he once was a soldier, and that she'd like to see that sissy michael fight for his country....
Can we get some insights on to why this week's FBoFW string is kind of a bummer?
Anthony's bad marriage was seemingly all his ex-wife's fault? Seems like some Bullshit to me.
you know, i think that the strip is actually giving us a lot of insight into the pressures that therese was facing and is giving me a lot more sympathy for her.
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