Off The Beaten Path

In response to a question raised by a faithful member of our community, I thought I'd discourse a bit on "Prickly City," a comic that I don't think has made it to the pages of the Chronicle.

What it basically seems to be to me, is political cartoon in which the girl represents the right, and the dog the left. I think. I haven't read it faithfully enough to back this argument up that well. The person who draws it certainly owes a debt to Bill Watterson in terms of the pacing, the phrasing--up to the standards of 'MD420, I'd say--and the general wistful/droll tone of the proceedings. Even the art, to a certain extent, although whoever draws it is no Watterson (not even a Brady/Wimmer in my opinion).

I'm not sure whether the girl is supposed to be black or not, but um, let's charitably use the word 'refreshing' to see a child of color repping the Right's political ideals on the comics page.

Sigh.

I just looked at Wikipedia, I promised myself I would finish writing the post before I checked what limited exposure I've had against the world at large's impression. Apparently this is just a right-wing comic, plain and simple. The following is from a strip published during the Terri Schiavo controversy, apparently Carmen was upset her womens' NCAA team lost so the dog took her food away:

Carmen: Stop denying me food, Winslow!

Winslow: I'm doing it to stop your suffering, Carmen. Besides, suicide and euthanasia are cool now. Hunter Thompson, Million Dollar Baby. It's all the rage.

Carmen: But my parents want to take care of me. They love me and don't want me starved to death!

Winslow: Well, don't come whining to me because you're not a cool dead person.

I know that I sure wanted Terri Schiavo's family to pull the plug back in those heady days of 2003: all my "cool" friends were saying Terri Schiavo would suddenly become "cool" too, once that happened, and I still have my Terri Schiavo pillowcases and action figures that we're all so familiar with, because man her popularity just went off the charts when she died, right? Comedy and salient, relevant political commentary, working together to bring the funny: THAT'S how it's done, you Trudeaus, you Wileys and McGruders and dudes who draw Pearls Before Swine. Look no further than within the limits of one Prickly City, AZ.

Speaking of politics and comics, I wiki'd GARFIELD the other day and was amused to learn that in 1978, Garfield briefly touched on the topics of inflation and labor unions, but such references were "ultimately pruned from the strip to give it a more universal appeal."

A Double Dose of Wedding Bells?

the only letter i hope 'mg69 is gonna be writing any time soon is one that reads,

"Dear Lynn Johnston,

We want to see what happens with Liz and Anothony! We appreciate your sensitivity to the needs of the differently abled: however, a storyteller of your gifts must admit that this is a poor time to choose to cut to a stock storyline about April's relationship with the girl with special needs whose name I can't remember. If you are feeling time constraints because you want to tell this story before the end of the school year and you want it to seem as though it's taking place in real-time, take it from me: your public will forgive you if it ends suddenly and the rest of it takes place in July and they are still in school.

Sincerely,

Comicsgurl69, proprietress
'Righteous Dudes and Cats with 'Tudes' "

seriously folks, i am catching the so-thoroughly-detailed-it-makes-me-a-little-afraid scent of a Patterson wedding on the summer breeze. I want to see Anthony get that knee dirtier than the bottom of Elizabeth's pumps when the dude carried her! Enough is enough. OK OK: Here's how itll go down, he has proposed and, in doing so, gets down on his knee in the mud. In the next strip he is talking to Mike and a couple of his friends about the proposal and the issue of the ring comes up and in the 2nd to last panel Anthony's like, "Well, I didn't plan this, so I didn't have a ring... but I've already got one all picked out!" and one of his friends goes "Oh yeah...?" and then in the next panel the same friend continues, "...Where'd you get the 'muddy'?" and it is a further out perspective, so we see that Anthony's knee is still muddy from when he knelt in the mud to propose. The friend is pointing at the knee, which maybe has some lines drawn around it for emphasis, and mike is laughing with his mouth in a triangle, maybe his tongue sticking out. nearby, a girl is covering her mouth with her hand and giggling.

Comically wholesome gold! if only the new love of my life were reading this, we could oust Lynn Johnston from her queen bee position and every 4-week cycle would be a "Lawrence's Story!" (Just kidding, LJ!!!)

I have a feeling...

...that Lynn Johnston will not be receiving a letter from me.

A Bone to Pick with PAWS, Inc.

What's cooking folks, it's been awhile. The PSA up in this piece, repping for uptight curmudgeons from Maine to Miami with the east coast take on the SF 'Mix. i'd like to give a special shoutout to the young lady in whose name this blog began, home from her trek eastward--- here's hoping some righteous "ganja" was smoked on that mystical subcontinent, preferably out of one of those delightful hookahs that have become so popular in our western society of late.

this post will basically be an addendum to my post on Garfield's unfortunate "coffee shop" series of a few weeks ago. recently i decided to go check out the rest of the strips from that week-- they are not online anymore, but trust me when i say they were a bona fide embarassment. while i was glad to see that "xan" himself didn't reappear, every subsequent strip was plagued by amaturish, almost worrisomely bad writing. easy, lame subject matter aside, what i found most glaring was that every one of those strips could have been 2 panels--- would have been better as 2 panels, in fact--- and had that agonizing first-panel-to-second-panel reiteration that is the mark of a really low-quality 'mixual endeavor. like: if you are going to do that, at least do it the Bill Amend way, where the first panel just shows one character going "so..." and then in the next panel they are all "here's the setup for the joke we are gonna tell in the last panel". (or take another page from Amend's book that i have actual respect for: his willingness to tailor the number of panels per strip to the pacing of the joke--- sometimes 2, sometimes 6, always innovative for whatever baseball-hat wearing drudgery those Foxes were getting up to) but in these Garfields, they basically have two identical panels leading it off! like, jon would be like "This is a great coffee shop!" and Garfield would go "I like caffeine" or whatever. and then in the next panel, Jon: "I think we should come here more often! I love this place!" Garfield looks at the coffee cup and is like "I want to put my tiny pink cone of a cat penis in here" or something (that one is on me, PAWS Inc-- thanks in advance). then in the last panel there is a joke about caffeine making you jittery. like: WHAT THE FUCK. you are hiring a team of people to make this comic the best it can possibly be and this is what we, the readers, are expected to choke down on a daily basis? Because that basically was every strip the entire week and that to me is just unacceptable. Like-- i can deal with every strip in a 5 day cycle being the same if it deals with killing spiders, kicking odie off the table, "spluts" if that sort of thing still goes on, as classic as Dagwood napping in his chair or whatever fucking thing he naps in, if he even naps, i have read Blondie about 15 times total in my life but you get what I'm saying. When you are trying some radical branching out into very uncharted waters, PAWS Inc, at least make it engaging. Do not treat us like morons, morons that have recently discovered the popularity of coffee emporia. I feel I am not alone in our writer- and readership in the fact that I've given a frightening percentage of my life to reading, drawing, tracing, and thinking about Garfield. It hurts to watch "Jim Davis" floundering to court some imaginary demographic.

I'm not even gonna start about today's camera phone reference. I've made my point.

It wouldn't really be a post from me without a little FBFW dishing too, so to end on a positive note, i really like the possibilities set in motion by Saturday's cliffhanger. There has been enough dicking around lately with all this dying grandpa Jim and wedding prep, cursed trees falling on the house and what have you. Time for some romantic intrigue! And give Liz a break Lynn-- her life is so uneventful lately that I found myself wondering if you were setting her up to be a lesbian. I'd like to see her affections vied for at this wedding by this dashing best man and a comically bad-dated Anthony. I am in Anthony's corner all the way, but you never know where Lynn J is gonna take things.

My baby sister is now a high school graduate

Ah, my parents' house, where I sit currently enjoying a cup of half-caf (which my folks persistently poison me with w/o my knowledge) and listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. In the Harris-Rockefeller household we keep our ears on a strict regimen of Broadway soundtracks, Jimmy Buffet, and that one Bob Dylan tribute concert album. It's always a pleasure to return to the 'mix of my youth, and considering that I think 50% of the 8 person readership of this blog is from Boston, I hope that this will resonate with many of you.

First off though, I would like to talk trash about "The Sidekick," which is the unfortunate format in which we Boston regionals now receive our daily dose of comics. The Sidekick is this special smaller assemblage of newsprint within our beloved Boston Globe. It opens like a book, sort of like the sunday Chronic' Datebook, only smaller, and not pink. The comics take up several pages, which I find irritating: I think they should all be on one spread. While the Sidekick contains some other stuff, like the crossword, your horoscope, the TV guide, and some super-lame mini articles about "lifestyle" type stuff, there's not much in there. If your sitting on the T and reading the Sidekick, everyone knows your just reading the comics. If I'm reading the Datebook on BART there's always a chance that I could be reading up on a review of the SF Opera's latest production, or something equally classy. Aside from any of these considerations, I firmly believe that the 'mix should not be ghettoized into some crappy other section, ever. (On an only sort of related note, Monday June 11th's Sidekick features Melt Banana on the cover, which makes me feel wierd. One thing's for sure, if Yasuko were a president she'd be Baberham Lincoln.)

Anyhoo, glad to be reading:

ROSE IS ROSE by Pat Brady and Don Wimmer. I think if I had started reading this comic at a later age I would be disgusted by it, but having grown up with it I find it JUST ADORABLE. While most family 'mix rely on conflict for their comedy, this one needs only pure sacharine cuteness, complete with a kitten, and little rainbows, hearts and candy canes that float around the characters' heads when they are feeling particularly stoked. Maybe if time ever moved in their world, Paquale would turn into a surly, difficult, teenager, but they have been stuck in a utopian lovefest ever since I started reading. I can't remember them ever having a problem, except maybe when Paquale's greedy friend Clem (was that his name?) comes over. Oh, totes reinforces RHN, obv.



I'm sorry for liking this, I can't help myself.

ARLO AND JANIS by Jimmy Johnson. Jimmy Johnson is a funny name. This is the wierdest comic about a married couple around. Perhaps 'mixdood420 will tell you guys about the now classic topless sunbathing strip someday. On the website Jimmy reprints a handful of old comics a day accompanied by awesome commentary. Here is a sample from 2002:



Jimmy writes: "This is one of Janis' hairdo variations over the years. Looking back, I think it worked quite well. Specifically, it solved the difficult problem of her bangs, a problem that haunts me still." Oh, the difficult problem of her bangs, that really gets me. What about the fact that what is happening in this strip, is that ARLO JUST CRAWLED INSIDE JANIS' NIGHTGOWN. Amazing.

ZIPPY by Bill Grifith. Brings a tear to my eye. Curse you SF Chronicle, for taking this strip away, you must truly think poorly of us.

Not so stoked on:

MALLARD FILLMORE by Bruce Tinsley. This hyper-conservative comic is really boring. I wanted to read something really obnoxious to get riled up about, but instead he's just hating on Jimmy Carter. THAT'S ORIGINAL, you lamewad.

Now for something we can all relate to: this turn that FBorFW has taken. Oh, Lynn, why must you continously introduce new men into Elizabeth's life when we all know that there is only one man for her? This poor girl has been jerked around for too long. If she and Anthony don't smooch by the end of the wedding, I'm writing a letter. You hear that Lynn?! A letter!! Another thing I will mention in this letter is something my woman friend Alexis brought to my attention recently: Why, when we visit FBorFW.com, do the characters blink? This animation is creepy, and it just distracts us from the issues at hand.

In conclusion:
Liz + Anthony 4eva, Blinking 4neva.

Lychees and Leeches

At one point, following a rather unpleasant incident during my recently completed epic sojourn to the East -er West?- a shaft of sunlight broke through the Himalayan mist to bless me with a moment of SHEER LITERARY GENIUS. Thus illuminated both physically and psychically, I turned to my dear companion Alex and said "If I was going to write a blog post about my trip to India, I would call it "Lychees and Leeches." He congratulated me on the brilliance of my poetic mind and we continued on our sweaty way. Now, this title would probably be more apt for a per-blog in which I wrote about my "life-experiences", or some crap like that. Don't worry, I will not be regaling you with tales of natural wonder and cultural exchange, I just couldn't resist the word play. Instead, I shall bless you with a description of the 'mix to be found in the English language newspapers available in Calcutta. There are two of them, both purchased daily from the newspaper-wallah (little cultural info dudes: that's the guy who sells newspapers) who hawks his wares outside Alex's home. They were obtained largely for the purpose of doing the crossword in a swell, air-conditioned breakfast joint called the Calcutta Tea Table, which served real coffee, if you asked for it extra strong. You could also glean maybe a tiny little bit of national news, definitely see about what your fave cricket star was up to, and also learn right-quick that Paris Hilton was taking two hits and passing backstage at Coachella. As was my anthropological duty, I read the 'mix.

First off, there's the Calcutta Times.

Disturbingly, the 'mix are laid-out differently on different days. Sometimes they're all up in one corner! Sometimes they're all in one column along the edge of the page! How's a strategic 'mix reader supposed to maintain her reading habits? (Note: I am not actually a strategic 'mix reader, I read L2R T2B like a normal person. But I know this issue is an important for some of us.) Anyways, here's what they've got, top to bottom on a column day:

GARFIELD - Good choice! A bit behind the current storyline, it's that one about the senile petsitter when Jon and Liz are on a date.

BEAU PEEP - This strip is of British origin, and concerns the travails of a filthy chef and his really bizarrely dressed customer. From what I gleaned over reading about four strips, it just consists of the cook saying wierd things to the customer. I was kind of into it. Actually, never mind, I just looked at the website and it turns out there are way more characters than I thought and I lost interest. Apparently that wierd guy is the title charactar, and he's some sort of military man? I can't find an image of the one strip that I really appreciated, but it goes like this: The cook says to Beau Peep, "You know what I REALLY hate about flying?"/ "That bit where you link arms and do funny kicks"/(No dialogue)/"No, hang on - that's line dancing."

BETWEEN FRIENDS - According to the internet, "Best friends Maeve, Kim and Susan all came of age in the 1970's during the height of the feminist movement. Now, in their forties, these three contemporary, modern women lean on and support each other as they deal with office politics, career issues, love, motherhood and relationships. "Between Friends" takes a humorous and contemporary look at the lives of these three women in all their angst-driven, stress-filled, caffeinated glory. " That shit was boring, and, upon learning more about it, offensive. It's doesn't reach Cathy levels of apalling-ness or anything, because it doesn't have nearly as many exclamation marks for one, and the art actually looks kinda like a sloppier FBorFW. But still...here is a sample:


Retch!

THE WIZARD OF ID - Johnny Hart R.I.P., but I don't care much for this one.

ANIMAL CRACKERS - This strip is infuriating because it totes rips off the artistic stylings of Sherman's Lagoon, and I would catch it out of the corner of my eye believing I was soon to be blessed with a hilarious sharkism, only to have my hopes dashed upon the rocks of crappiness. I guess it sometimes tries to send an important message about environmentalism, which I should hypothetically be down with, but it's hard guys, it really is:



I should note that this strip, as its title might imply, actually concerns a variety of animal species, not just fish. None or them are interesting.

ARCHIES - I don't know if the actual Archie comic books are important to America's comics heritage or whatever, but this strip is basically what would happen is Dennis the Menace and Blondie had a baby (conceptually, not the actual characters you perv), and that baby had a lamer version of Blondie's artistic stylings, and a just as annoying version of D the M's "rascally-ness."

(CLASSIC) PEANUTS - Obv choice in my opinion, no problems here.

RIPLEY'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT - Panel format, not actually a comic, so much as a some funny facts about wierd stuff accompanied by an illustration in the realist style. For example: Joshua Mueller of Lakewood, Wash owns 400 pairs of sneakers!!! He wears a different pair every day of the year!!!. I enjoyed this "comic," but the print was so tiny that it hurt my eyes.

HEALTH CAPSULE - Also panel format, also not exactly a comic. I say, "wierd." And you?



A warning: "Health capsule gives helpful information. It is not intended to be of a diagnostic nature." Also I think the art annoys me.


Um, I've only covered 90% of the daily 'mix in 1 of 2 newspapers I read on the sub-con, but I have to go to work now, and considering it's been like, 2 weeks since this blog has gotten any attention, I'm gonna publish. There is a final panel in the Times which I believe deserves some attention for sure, look for a hate-fueled post IN THE FUTURE.