For Whom The Mixtual Bell Tolls

Friends-- greetings. Nice to be back. Albeit to some potentially troubling news on fborfw.com:

New Phase of "For Better or For Worse" Begins Sept. 3
Posted: August 29, 2007 | News Bites Home

Kansas City, MO (08/29/2007) Aug. 28, 2007 -- Lynn Johnston’s popular comic strip “For Better or For Worse” begins a new phase Monday, Sept. 3, as character Michael Patterson looks through a family photo album with his 5-year-old daughter, Meredith. With this strip, Michael begins retelling the Patterson family story by recounting the courtship of his parents, John and Elly, the central characters in the 28-year-old comic strip read by millions each day.

In a mixture of new, old and retouched work, readers will begin to see scenes of the past -- Elly reading in the library at college and catching the eye of the young dental student who will one day become her husband.

“This was an opportunity to give my readers new material, as well as my being able to pick and choose through the original art and making it different, making it a new entity, as it were,” says Johnston.

Johnston will keep fans engaged with a mix of special strips from the past and newly drawn panels that will help reintroduce favorite storylines. The strip’s current storyline will be interlaced with Michael's remembrances until it gradually reaches a natural closing stage sometime early next year. When that happens, time will stop for the extended Patterson family, but not their stories. The stories will be relived by a current generation of fans and introduced for the first time to a new generation.

Right now, Johnston is still exploring the budding romance between oldest daughter Elizabeth and an old high school flame.

"I'm interested and readers are interested to know what is going to happen with Anthony and Elizabeth," she said. "That resolution can't happen too fast. They've only just started to see each other again after a long time apart."

OK, so Lynn is taking a souped up hiatus. That's excusable; I've loved going through some of the strips that were before my time on the Web, so I guess those of us who never visit the website will get to feel a little weird that Elly used to be kind of hot 30 years ago, and that she wore bell bottom pants. (adds to the hotness, IMO)

What troubles me more is the last couple of paragraphs. Not only at the hint that we're going to be waiting until at least 2008 for a resolution of Liz and Anthony's story, but the-----

whoa, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Let's wait a second here and go back and read the third to last paragraph, like I just did. It's phrased in a confusing way but am i wrong in interpreting the phrase "When that happens, time will stop for the extended Patterson family" as "The strip will end?"

My friends I do not use these letters together often, but:

WTF?????????

Is this the end of FBFW?

And if so, why the deceptive phrasing, Lynn (or more likely Laura, pun-tastic temptress of my heart that you are)? Why not just come out and say it rather than have me write a half a blog that then gets interrupted and that I feel compelled to nonetheless share because of the dramatic nature of my epiphany.

Well the cat's out of the bag now, ladies. The more I reread the above article, the more I'm convinced: No more new fbfw in 2008.

I need to be alone with my thoughts for a little while. Seriously man: this makes me feel sad.

In regards to recent events

My Friends!

Let us ignore the fact that I have treated my blogging duties like Jeremy might treat his responsibilty to pick his shoes up off of the hallway floor. It's been a while, it's just that I've been really busy doing important stuff.* But given that half of the production team here at RD&Cw/T is at summer camp this month, I figured it was time for me to step up to the plate. Much like our fishy friends over in Sherman's Lagoon, jumping on the summer softball train just as Hilary and her teammates are deboarding due to Ted's negative mental attitude. Much like Barry Bonds, breaking Hank Aaron's home run record at a baseball game which I had the option of attending for free, but did not because I had something responsible to do. You know what, I don't give a fuck because I don't even need to use a double asterix to tell you that that guy was totes hopped up on 'roids, and who needs to witness baseball history being made when they've got the 'mix to greet them each morning? NOT ME!

N-E-WAYZ, let's talk about what really matters: Ted Forth, snap the fuck out of it! Sally basically just told you that unless you get a 'tude adjustment, you are not gonna get laid. Here's what I think: Stop half-assing it with that 5 o'clock shadow and grow a beard. Sometimes a makeover is just what you need to gain a new outlook on life. And I'm not talking about some trim, shapely goatee, I am talking about an epic beard, akin to that gracing the face of the holy man down the in today's (er, yesterday's) relatively lame Bliss panel. That dude, btw is the only beardo on the page! Beards: underrepresented!

We all know that there is another facial hair issue that needs to be addressed. Yes, I am speaking of Anthony's mustache. I mean, yeah Liz, smooching is great, but don't you think that smooching a dignified mustache would be better than a bare, scratchy upper lip? And I understand that the removal of the mustache is a metaphor for the clean slate of Liz and Anthony's relationship, unsullied by the disastrous marriage with whatserface that kept them apart for so long. But puh-leez. Decide for yourself:

From a few months ago:


The current dillemna:


I realize that my argument for Ted's beard and for Anthony's mustache sort of contradict each other, but that's because whatever reasons I give for these dudes to have facial hair, the only reason they really need is that facial hair is righteous. And righteous dudes, dear readers, are the name of the game.

PEACE!



*Lying around